Ocular prosthetics

So, we got that second opinion from an oculoplastic surgeon-He said the route of all of my daughter's socket problems were the ill fitting, two large of a prosthetic made by Scott Garonzik. Scott also adds a cold cure dental resin to the eye to enlarge it. This material harbors bacteria and breaks down quickly easily causing severe irritation and discomfort and infections. Her eye was severely infected (perhaps even for the better half of the year) and it took three months and an eye made by our new ocularist to go away. Since all this has happened, I have been very educated in what an ocularist should and can do. I am mad.

Scott Garonzik did NOT do good work for my daughter, he dismissed my concerns and even told us NOT to get a second opinion about her socket. If anyone out there is reading this and wants to learn more, please e-mail me. Apparently, my daughter is not the only one with serious issues regarding an ocular prosthetic made by Scott Garonzik.

EUA time

EUA is on Friday, but we are leaving for the trip tomorrow after her 3 year old appt. and pediatric clearance for anesthesia. Things that concern me this time are 1) her socket development-we have been getting bad reports since January (and are getting another opinion in a couple of weeks) 2) her complaints that she can't see things (when they are right in front of her) and that she can't see well. I am not sure if she is learning the latter this from another kid at school or if she is for real. Quite honestly, it scares the crap out of me.

Port out

And still no job. I have had 3 phone interviews with one company and took and assessment test. I, however, have yet to hear from them. Not so great for my ego. Oh well...I guess it is back to the drawing boards, the economy is so bad right now-changing careers isn't going to be easy. Who out there is willing to give me a shot?

Almost over...

She is going to get her Port out this month. Then the biggest part of our cancer trip will be over. Of course, she will still need MRIs and exams under anesthesia, BUT, she can go to day care and mommy can get a job. We seriously need me to work....I am nervous, anxious, feeling insecure...it has been 2 years since I have worked and my old job wasn't exactly a run of the mill occupation. I don't think I can return to scenic art. My future and her future means too much to me to put us at risk again by constantly exposing myself to those types of chemicals. To get a some idea of what I am talking about, please read this:
interview with Monona Rossol


So that leaves me with lots of questions. What do I want to do, what am I qualified to do, and will someone take a risk, hire and train me?

One Year

It has been one year since her eye was removed. I am full of conflicted emotions today. We are lucky she is alive, that the tumor (although it filled 80% of her retina) did not touch her optic nerve (aka, pathway to her brain).

She is fierce, strong, amazing, beautiful, funny, demanding, loving, and more than I can properly put into words. I love you, my sweet baby girl.

Anger

Yes, I still hold onto the anger at the Dr. who missed the tumor in my daughter's eye. It was right there. We PAY you to do your job. Your job was to examine my baby. ALL of my baby. That tumor would have been seen when she was 3 months old (considering we have photos of it at one month). Her eye could have been saved, her life not AS threatened, if only you picked up your ophthalmoloscope and dimmed the lights to naturally dilate the eyes. Perhaps even once mentioned that it is a good idea to get a 6 month old baby's eyes checked by a pediatric optometrist. But no, you did none of that.

I question why I still have friends who know all we have been through that STILL see this Dr. She and her whole group (since we were there tons and saw different Drs and nurses) missed the TUMOR in my baby's eye. (of course it is not visible with the naked eye which is why you are provided with the instrument. It isn't a dust collector. USE IT!!!!!!)

Someday, when I can think more rationally, Dr. M. You will get a nice little letter from me.

"oh sh*t"

Scenario: Me, making dinner, a new recipe I have never made before, multi-tasking. I am draining my pasta and realize that I was suppose to reserve some of the pasta water. Rowan is sitting on her booster in her chair in the kitchen with me.

Me: (flustered) Oh shit!

My daughter: (big smile) Oh shit!!!!!

She said it loud, clear and was so proud of herself for getting that one right. I couldn't help but smile-that is my kid alright :)