1 day to C day

Cancer really sucks. I am scared and anxious and angry. Yes angry. I am angry that it wasn't noticed months sooner. Chances are my daughter was blind at 8 or 9 months (now that we know what to look for in the photos). She definitely was blind at her last well baby visit. I wish I had caught it sooner. I am usually so good at knowing when things are not right. I missed this one. Maybe that is why I am angry. Anyway, I think I make it a mission to get thorough eye exams a standard part of wellness visits (as I am told by a pediactric friend are, but apparently not). Anyway, so we are in Miami now. We leave to go to the hospital just to meet the oncologist around 11. Then I am sure we will wait a few hours. Then we come back to the hotel and prepare for tomorrow. I can't wait for this to all be over with and we are only starting this process. At least tonight we will get one last night of baby girl pre chemo. Of course we haven't had our first experience yet, but I think it is safe to say, CHEMO SUCKS. CANCER SUCKS.